McChurch - How Many Gays in the Graveyard? Print E-mail
By Stan Moody
Aug. 12, 07 17:00

I was greatly inspired recently by a report on Nation News regarding the decision by a megachurch in Arlington, TX to cancel the funeral of a veteran of the Gulf War because he was gay before he assumed room temperature. 

 

"Officials at the nondenominational High Point Church knew that Cecil Howard Sinclair was gay when they offered to host his service," said his sister, Kathleen Wright. "But after his obituary listed his life partner as one of his survivors," she said, "it was called off."

 

The decision to cancel the funeral was made with only 24 hours notice.  God, of course, gave this poor guy more than 24 hours notice to make his arrangements, as he had an ongoing heart condition and was waiting for a transplant. 

 

I happened to be preaching a sermon on Sunday, August 12, 2007, on how God honors our faith even when buried under weakness and compromise.  This story came in handy, it being a classic illustration of weakness masquerading as strength.

 

McChurch is in need of a heart transplant -- no question about it.  This particular church, presided over by the brother-in-law of tele-giant Joel Osteen, pastor of a 38,000 member church in Houston, was on the horns of a spiritual dilemma.  Its pastor, Rev. Gary Simons, described the action as based neither on hatred nor discrimination but done out of love and kindness toward the family.  Since the church believes homosexuality to be a sin, to hold the funeral would, in some strange way, appear as an endorsement of the lifestyle.

 

This certainly is a living example of taking yourself too seriously on the one hand and not seriously enough on the other.  On the one hand, who would give a flying care to what the average person on the street thinks of that church.  They already know that these people are more interested in their image than in their mission.  By their actions, it has now been publicly confirmed.

 

On the other hand, they might have enhanced their image had they considered this a great opportunity to speak in love to how they feel about homosexuality -- a live object lesson on the evangelical mantra of loving the sinner but hating the sin.  At the end of the day, there is no such thing as a homosexual corpse -- only dead corpses and, of course, spiritual corpses like the church in question.

 

As I was preaching my sermon on faith to a handful of thoughtful Christians (as opposed to high rolling, image-conscious, God-bless-the-American-Dream Christians), I glanced out the window at the graveyard next door.  I asked, "How many gays are buried out there?"  All I got was a laugh.  I then said, "I don't know how many gays there are out there, but I do know of a lot of secrets that are buried there."  Another laugh. 

 

I wondered how many funny uncles there were out there and how many women out there who had had backroom abortions.  My mother is buried there, for one.  The family scuttlebutt is that she had had an abortion before I was born.  There have been times when I have been accused of being the one aborted.  Yet, despite all those secrets, there was always someone throughout the years who was big enough to exercise a Godly attitude and help grieving families get through their loss.  Some churches are hospitals for sinners, while others are resting places for the self-righteous, of which there are legion.

 

We are in trouble, folks.

 

This incident was right up there with the report this week of Evangelicals who will not vote for anyone for President who does not keep the Ten Commandments.  Nobody had the courage or scholarship to remind them that abortion and homosexuality are not in the first ten.  On the other hand, bearing false witness against your neighbor is in the first ten.  If memory serves me correctly, our current President, a darling of the Christian Right, has displayed an uncanny disposition to violate that one.  Some of the victims of his witness are toughing it out in Guantanamo Bay.

 

No, there are no gays in the graveyard -- only histories and memories, some of which have undergone Christian revisionism by those bold enough to openly congratulate themselves for loving their God with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength. 

 

Stan Moody is the author of "Crisis in Evangelical Scholarship" and "McChurched: 300 Million Served and Still Hungry

 


LIST OF COMMENTS

1/20. Once again, you completely missed the point
Written by Brian  | Aug. 15, 07 11:01
You completely overlooked the fact that the refusal was based on proudly and prominently displaying the guy's homosexuality during the service, and the family's desire to bring in someone who would probably exalt that homosexuality before the assembly.  That cannot and should not ever be accepted.  If the family had conceded to eliminate the homosexuality in the presentation, they would have been allowed to stay.  But instead, they attempted to attack the church publicly.  Based on the Dallas Morning News article, I'd say they failed.  I rather like the way the article was handled.

2/20. Excuse me?
Written by Joe  | Aug. 15, 07 19:29

No, brian, I believe you have missed the point.  A funeral is not about the espousing the church's beliefs, but the person's beliefs and honoring said person.  A church is only a building; it's the people inside that make it a dwelling of God.  If that particular church had such objections to the man's homosexuality, they could have simply not been involved with the service.  Or rejected the family BEFORE they started planning the funeral.  Since, they chose not to do so, it can only be assumed that they cowered to the perceptions of the community than honoring their commitments.  And, the last time I checked, honoring your promises was also something God commanded us to do. 

 


3/20. clarification
Written by Brian  | Aug. 16, 07 11:17
Joe, everything you said just tells me that you would put man before God in pretty much any situation.

What's the first commandment?

4/20. Known By Our Love
Written by George  | Aug. 16, 07 13:09
I used to sing a hymn in which a portion of the words were, "They will know we are Christians by our love." Every day, we are afforded several opportunities to display our love and compassion for our fellow man. How we act and react to rude drivers, critical bosses, homeless people, etc says much about whether we are truly displaying the love that Christ commanded. I don't know much about this individual except what can be said about all of God's creation. He was a son and a brother and those who are left to cherish his memory deserved more than being isolated by a church that portends to follow Christ's example. "For as much as you do to the least of these..."

5/20. y'all don't get it
Written by Brian  | Aug. 16, 07 15:49
The issue under contention was whether or not the church would allow the family (and, presumably, other members of the gay community) to come in and exalt/promote the sin of homosexuality.  Would you allow a funeral for a pornographer to include graphic scenes of what the person's life work consisted of?  Would you allow a memorial for a murderer to include photographs of him killing his victims, or of the victims in a morgue?  Of course not!

Then why in the world would you want to allow a funeral/memorial for a homosexual to include pictures of him involved in his sin???

Or do you not believe that homosexuality is sin?  Considering the state of the world these days, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that from y'all.  But that doesn't make it any less true:  homosexuality is a sin.

6/20. Cast The First Stone
Written by George  | Aug. 17, 07 05:07
Jesus said, "he that is without sin...cast the first stone." The line forms here. Go ahead! Get in line. There's a whole pile of stones. Okay, everybody, start throwing! What are you waiting for?

7/20. Nice try George
Written by Doug  | Aug. 17, 07 18:48
It is certainly true George that we ought always consider our own sin before pointing out the sins of others but this can never be seen as a prohibition against speaking out against sin.  We are to "speak the truth in love". Evangelicals (like myself )often seem to lack love.  Non-Evangelicals lack the willingness to hold to the truths of Scripture.  Shame on both of us!

8/20. Homosexuality
Written by stanjz  | Aug. 18, 07 16:50

I don't know if homosexuality is a sin. I would vote against making same sex marriage legal, but I'm not sure I'm right. There are some massive problems with all the attention it gets.

It's missing from the Ten Commandments carved in stone. It's missing from the Gospels or the mouth of Christ Jesus, despite a wealth of qoutes from four different authors.

There is a great difference between having a homosexual thought and being attracted to the opposite sex. I would venture to say every heterosexual or for all intents and purposes, every heterosexual has had homosexual thoughts go through their minds, but they are not attracted to the opposite sex. Men aren't allowed to express their love for one another in a physical way and maybe this is how it bubbles to the surface. Perhaps  men were picked on by other men or beaten up and this is an attempt the erotisize a painful memory. There is a great fear among men of being gay. A great way to prove you aren't is to beat up a gay person. That takes me to another problem, almost all of the violence among heterosexuals and gays is being done by heterosexuals. Many things from the Old Testament have changed, restricted food, animal sacrifices etc. I know that Peter and Paul mention it, but I have real problems with something I believe is physiological being a sin. These people don't go on campaigns against people who committ adultery even though that's breaking a direct promise to God and it breaks up families. Adultery is mentioned much more than homosexulaity, but that means going after familiy members and friends and we can't have that- can we. So they presecute the hades out of a minority group. What courage these people have. What love they have.


9/20. One More Comment on Homosexuality
Written by stanjz  | Aug. 18, 07 18:47

Hatred against homosexuals is an emotional response based on personal repulsion. It's the same repulsion people experience when they are asked to imagine their parents having sex.


10/20. To Brian:
Written by Stan Moody  | Aug. 19, 07 05:44
You have taken a rationale that was spun out of a mention in the press accounts that the video to be shown at the funeral depicted the deceased kissing and hugging his partner...That point made by CYA Church was disputed by the family...To protract that into "You guys still don't get it" ignores the obvious...

If the video did indeed show objectionable material, they could simply have refused to show the video and let the family decide what it would do...Then, any cancellation would have been on the heads of the family, and the church would have looked reasonable...They could have insisted that any objectionable portions be edited out, something that is very easy in today's digital society...But to give the family a 24-hour notice was an inexcusable display of lack of Christian charity...

The decision to conduct the funeral was political; the decision to cancel the funeral was political; the church cannot be heard to say that the whole thing centered around Christian conscience or conviction...

The bottom line, for Crying Out Loud, is that there are no dead homosexuals - only departed souls...The corpse, no longer coming down for breakfast, would not be hugging and kissing anyone for some time, I would guess, depending on your eschatology...There are no sexual unions in Heaven or Hell that I know of...There are, however, dead veterans, and this fellow was one such...It is always in taste to honor a veteran who has stood in harm's way - particularly for a Christian Right church that emotes when singing, "God bless America!"

No; I don't think that dog (the video excuse) will hunt! 

11/20. Clarification Granted, Brian!
Written by Joe  | Aug. 19, 07 14:53

  Brian, I personally find it offensive that you are judging me not to be a Christian by a few words I wrote on a website. There is no way for you to make an adequate judgement about such a matter, short of getting to know me. So, unless you're about to declare yourself God, please stick to the matter at hand.

    For the record,  I wouldn't allow a murderer to display his works, nor a pornographer hers.  However, I do believe that they deserve to honored in death as humans beings made in the image of God.  Every human carries a bit of the divine sprark, even if has been so muddied that it can not been seen by the human eye.

  As Mr. Moody has said, you have based your line of reasoning on one line mentioned in an article you've read.  Why has the church been given the benefit of the doubt, and not the family?  Have you considered that the church may have been attempting to get themselves out of the public fire by giving the first excuse they could think of?  The family obviously disputes giving the church provocative photos and film.  Why is the family the culprit?  Could it be because of an assumption that because the man was a homosexual, the family must somehow be bad, or evil, or a sinner?

   My defense of the veteran has more to do with honoring his sacrifice, his dignity, and common decency than the man's orientation.  Let the man die in peace. 


12/20. To Brian:
Written by Stan Moody  | Aug. 19, 07 17:40
Brian, let me play with your head a bit...

Without knowing anything about you, I can say with absolute certainty that you have violated the first commandment - "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength."  The reason I can say that with certainty is that every human being under the sun has violated that commandment except One who came to us fully human and fully divine...

His task and test was to be the first to obey the First Commandment...Because He succeeded, you will succeed...His success gave rise to the promise of Hebrews 7:25 - that intercessory prayer has assured your continued obedience to a commandment you have no possibility of obeying...

The Christian is not saved from moral decay...He is saved, very simply, from the wrath of God...Your hope is not in your moral code...Your only hope is that asbestos shield between you and God's red-hot wrath...

If anything, the action of our subject megachurch had nothing to do with obedience to the First Commandment and everything to do with the other 9...

Anyone with a modicum of political skill could have found any number of ways out of this dilemma the church seemed to bring on itself...Anyone with a modicum of Christ could be expected to bring this to a satisfactory conclusion...Grace demands, however, that we find in this church's foolishness and fear the same foolishness and fear that is often so familiar to our own lives...

We ought to pray for the megachurches of this world that they will be forced to disintegrate back to the Community of the Redeemed...

McChurch rocks, while the Kingdom waits...

13/20. Where Do We Draw The Line?
Written by George  | Aug. 20, 07 13:23
I certainly hope that this church did not allow the remains of this veteran to be buried in its cemetery. And I certainly hope that none of the members of that church attended the funeral (at whatever location it was conducted). And I hope that if there was any connection or offer of condolences by members of that church that the pastor and deacon board would have the courage of their Christian convictions to remove them from their membership and bar them from further fellowship and attendance. After all, we can't have any contamination from this dead veteran!

14/20. don't know what y'all read, but...
Written by Brian  | Aug. 20, 07 15:52
Here's the article from the LOCAL news where this took place.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/081007dnmetgayfuneral.3617689.html
Clearly you can read that the family sprung some surprises on the church.

Both the family and church officials agree that the church volunteered to host a memorial service, feed 100 guests and create a multimedia presentation of photos from Mr. Sinclair's life.

But the photos that the family selected alerted church officials that there might be a problem with the service, Mr. Simons said.

"Some of those photos had very strong homosexual images of kissing and hugging," he said. "My ministry associates were taken aback."

And then, he said, the family asked to have its own people officiate the service. "We had no control over the format of the memorial," Mr. Simons said.

Family and friends discovered the church had withdrawn its invitation Wednesday evening, when Lee Sinclair called to tell his mother, she said.

There.  Now we should all be on the same page. 

 


15/20. Yes, but...
Written by Stan Moody  | Aug. 20, 07 19:10
We all read that, Brian...We also read the family's statement that these allegations were not true...It comes back to the same thing:  "We are sorry, but we cannot in good conscience show the video at the funeral, as it is offensive to our people and to our sensibilities."  "OK, we'll take the funeral elsewhere."  Mission accomplished...The focus would have been on the video and not the funeral...

I got the following message from someone in Indiana:

WOW...did this hit home with me.  Last weekend I went "up home" to a small town, where I will be the fifth generation of my people to be buried.  (I wanted to check out the tombstone I ordered last winter and see it at least once "from the top side.")
 
I will be buried next to my Mother & Dad...Mom had an abortion in a disastrous first marriage in the 1930s and refused to marry my Dad until she successfully carried me for the first trimester because my Dad wanted kids so badly.  (Mom smudged the family Bible dates with an artistic ink blot that I now understand.)
 
Opposite me will be my Uncle, the alcoholic, and beyond, my Grandfather.  After his wife died very young, he came to live with my Mother, Father and me...but frequently spent weeks  with his friend, "Uncle Ernie," whom I adored.  There was always a small group of artistic and professional men around the house where Grandpa had a private apartment over the garage.  They all fascinated me and were kind and gentle to me.  When I took my first "abnormal" psychology class and came home a-twitter about "gays"... my Mother filled me in on "the rest of the story."  I remember feeling like things suddenly "made sense" and since I had known these guys all my life, my love for them wasn't affected.  My Mother was so brilliant about these things...
 
There are indeed gays in the graveyard!

What will we be bringing to the graveyard?


16/20. Hatred Extends To The Grave
Written by george  | Aug. 21, 07 08:53
When my grandfather died when he was only 60, the only one of the nine children who took my grandmother into his home was an uncle who was a WW2 veteran. For the next 27 years, he cared for her, enduring that she received adequate medical care and providing all the material comforts that she needed. Residing in the same home was my uncle's "friend" - a buddy that he had met in the army. My uncle and his friend now share adjacent graves just a few feet away from the mother that he cared for and my grandpa. Gay people are human beings capable of sacrifice and generosity, and I will be forever grateful for the care that my uncle provided. So, yes, there are gay people in cemeteries, but I would not want to beeassociated with any church whose hatred of gay people extends to the grave.

17/20. Clearly deceived
Written by Brian  | Aug. 21, 07 09:41
Mr. Moody et al.
It is clear to me that y'all are deceived about not only Christianity, but the nature of salvation.  While I will concede that someone may always be tempted to sin in homosexuality after they have crossed that line, in order to be saved, that person would have to repent and turn away from it. 

But you should know this.  Unfortunately, I think it's something that is missing more and more from our nation's "churches" - the concept of repentance.  It's neither talked about in many churches or included in the plan of salvation, anymore.  And that can solely be attributed to man.  Regardless or our desires to "make church relevant", the Lord hasn't and won't change.  His original intent for people to come to Him still applies.  Jesus' message was one of love AND repentance.  The reason He died for us was because our sinfulness and depravity necessitated it; He cannot tolerate sin.  And in order to receive salvation, we must REPENT.  It's only in repentance that Jesus' blood covers us and protects us from the ultimate wrath of God.  That repentance does, indeed, have a part in our salvation, even here on earth.  Because as we repent, and forsake sin more and more in our lives, we are continually being made into His likeness.  Salvation is not only for eternity, it is meant to be started here and now.

Having a funeral for an unrepentant gay man does nothing to usher him into Heaven.  A person who dies in their sins has chosen to pass up all opportunities for eternal life with God, and has begun paying the ultimate price - eternal suffering.

I've said what I need to.  I'm sure it has fallen on deaf ears. 

May the Lord have mercy on you all and open your eyes before it's too late.

18/20. To Brian
Written by stanjz  | Aug. 21, 07 12:52

You are not the judge of peoples hearts. You don't get to decide who has repented and who hasn't. Have you concluded your own repentence? Perhaps you stopped sinning a long time ago? It's very suspicious that you choose to focus on a sin that you don't do and are not tempted to do. In poker they call that a tell. I don't play cards, but I watched it on TV. Is that ok to do?

Have you ever held your gaze too long on a beautiful women. Christ said " any who keeps on looking on a women as to have passion for her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Math 5:27-28

Does watching two very hot women lightly kissing and petting disgust you as much as thinking about a guy bending another guy over a table? Technically it should- according to you. They are both homosexual acts.

" Persons in health( like yourself Brian) do not need a physician, but the ailing do. Go ahead then, learn what this means, I want mercy, and not sacrifice. For I came to call, not the self righteous people, but sinners." Math 9 :12-13

Remember the verse from Christ where he gave a parable about the Pharisee who prayed to God saying " thank you that I'm not a sinner like that other man." and the other man who threw his head down in the dirt so as to not even look up to heaven. Christ said the Pharisee wasn't foregiven, but the second man was because he had a contrite heart. You are sounding more like the Pharisee to me.


19/20. Funerals Are For The Living
Written by George  | Aug. 22, 07 09:56

Brian,

With reference to your comment, "Having a funeral for an unrepentant gay man does nothing to usher him into heaven."

Without making any judgement about the relationship that this man had with God at the end of his life, please allow me to make the following comments:

Funerals are not for the dead but for the living. Many people who will never darken the door of a church (except for Christmas and Easter) are present at funerals, and the service provides a (limited) opportunity to share the love of Jesus. I have attended many funerals for people who using my limited judgement, lived a very sinful life and have heard the minister include a salvation message with an opportunity for attendees to dedicate their life to God. For any church to pass up an opportunity to share the message of Christ is unconsciounable. Secondly, when we do make judgements about an individual's spiritual condition (despite the scriptures admonition to refrain from doing), what specific sins would exclude a person from a Christian funeral? For example, would we say that a convicted murderer is not entitled to a church funeral? No? OK, what about an adulterer? No, again? OK, what about a man who while lusting after an attractive lady is run over by a dump truck owing to his inattention to traffic? Are there any sinners who are entitled to a church funeral?

Jesus broke bread with sinners, but his church cannot allow themselves to be contaminated!


20/20. view point of a gay women
Written by tara  | May. 12, 08 05:49
ok. if anybodys reads this its a miracle. my moms side of the family are bible thumpers and they hated that i was gay. my gm and my aunt went to there paster  (baptist church) and they asked him if it was aganist god to be gay and he said no. i understand the hatred toward gays but is sort of like the hatred towards blacks. yes i know its not exactly the same but its alot alike. people who hate gays are afraid of the unknown. you should hate me for me not for who we love. i didnt chose to be gay i know everbody thinks that we do. well we dont. my ex girfriends mom knew she liked girls when my girfriend was younger cuz she showed more intrest in the ladys on tv then the men. i am a senior in h.s.and we have to do a senior project to graduate so ofcorse i was doing mine on gays in hs. my school is very small and is not open to gays and there lifestyle. we have had so many people call us names and treat us diffrently. my life as a gay is almost exactly like the life of a strait person except for that one little thing LOVE for the same sex. i dont hate people who hate us i wish you could just understand us and how we live. I am a very nice person and if you got to know me and i didnt tell u i was gay u would treat me the same way as any strait person. Then when i told u i like girls then u would hate me. thats bull. strait arent so perfect either and we know that and so does GOD!!!!!!!
Last Updated ( Aug. 14, 07 23:38 )
 
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